I Was Slipping Fast
We A.A.’s are active folk, enjoying the satisfactions of dealing with the realities of life, . . . So it isn’t surprising that we often tend to slight serious meditation and prayer as something not really necessary.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 96
I had been slipping away from the program for some time, but it took a death threat from a terminal disease to bring me back, and particularly to the practice of the Eleventh Step of our blessed Fellowship. Although I had fifteen years of sobriety and was still very active in the program, I knew that the quality of my sobriety had slipped badly. Eighteen months later, a checkup revealed a malignant tumor and a prognosis of certain death within six months. Despair settled in when I enrolled in a rehab program, after which I suffered two small strokes which revealed two large brain tumors. As I kept hitting new bottoms I had to ask myself why this was happening to me. God allowed me to recognize my dishonesty and to become teachable again. Miracles began to happen. But primarily I relearned the whole meaning of the Eleventh Step. My physical condition has improved dramatically, but my illness is minor compared to what I almost lost completely.
Thought for the Day
In A.A. we do not speak much of sex. And yet putting sex in its proper place in our lives is one of the rewards that have come to us as a result of our new way of living. The Big Book says that many of us needed an overhauling there. It also says that we subjected each sex relation to this test – was it selfish or not? “We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly, nor to be despised or loathed.” We can ask God to mold our ideals and to help us to live up to them. We can act accordingly. Have I got my sex life under proper control?
Meditation for the Day
“I will lift up my eyes unto the heights whence cometh my help.” Try to raise your thoughts from the depths of the sordid and mean and impure things of the earth to the heights of goodness and decency and beauty. Train your insight by trying to take the higher view. Train it more and more until distant heights become more familiar. The heights of the Lord, whence cometh your help, will become nearer and dearer and the false values of the earth will seem farther away.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may not keep my eyes forever downcast. I pray that I may set my sights on higher things.