When Faith is Missing
Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than to those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have tried faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28
I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous. Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my faith was resurrected.
Thought for the Day
Treating others to drinks gave us a kind of satisfaction. We liked to say, “Have a drink on me.” But we were not really doing the other people a favor. We were only helping them to get drunk, especially if they happened to be alcoholic. In A.A., we really try to help other alcoholics. We build them up instead of tearing them down. Drinking created a sort of fellowship. But it really was a false fellowship, because it was based on selfishness. We used our drinking companions for our own pleasure. In A.A., we have real fellowship, based on unselfishness and a desire to help each other. And we make real friends, not fair weather friends. With sobriety, have I got everything that drinking’s got, without the headaches?
Meditation for the Day
I know that God cannot teach anyone who is trusting in a crutch. I will throw away the crutch of alcohol and walk in God’s power and spirit. God’s power will so invigorate me that I shall indeed walk on to victory. There is never any limit to God’s power. I will go step by step, one day at a time. God’s will shall be revealed to me as I go forward.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have more and more dependence on God. I pray that I may throw away my alcoholic crutch and let God’s power take its place.